First Time Blogger

I am so excited to FINALLY be doing a blog.  A friend told me nearly 3 years ago to begin this.  I am looking forward to the ability to express my self in writing.  (And it's so much quicker than traditional writing in a journal!)

I've been going through one of the most difficult times in my life... separation from a very emotionally, spiritually, and at times physically abusive narcissistic, controlling, paranoid husband with culturally different ideas.  I have been in therapy for several months now and the healing is amazing. God has finally allowed me to see the whole picture of what things have been and how they should be.   I am so thankful for God rescuing me from the deepest and darkest depths of despair. 

I was dying- emotionally.  Mentally... I felt I was losing my mind.  And my children... well they endured all of it for years.  A couple of nights ago, at a dedicatory service for a new church building, one of the pastors from The Adventure Church in Draper said something that rang so true to me.  It was if I heard the Lord say to me, "Listen up!... This is you." 

The pastor was referring to one of my favorite characters- Hadassah/Esther.  He was talking about how she had gone through the beautification process and was now queen.  She began to just sit, content in that position.  That's when Mordecai came to her and said, "Hun... Cousin.... Get off your duff... now!  Don't you know what's happening to your people?  It's a dire, desperate situation that could lead to the death of a nation.  What if God didn't put you here for just this time?  To release our people from this fate?"  "So...", the pastor went on explaining,  "That queen approached the king and let him know what was going on.  And she presented the plan of action that would save her people."

I felt the Holy Spirit again and I knew... "This is me!"  Essentially, it's like... God has raised me up for such a time as this.  I was not content but I was at a stand-still.  I felt I had no other options.  And I've gone to my husband and said.... "This is the evil that's happening and this is the plan."  I'm going forth boldly and unashamedly.  And I believe God is going to save MY PEOPLE, my children, me...even Roy, if he so chooses.  I believe this is the cutting off of all that was trying to kill us off emotionally, spiritually, possibly even physically. 

The added very coolness to all of this is... the way God validated me as He ALWAYS does.  It's like God showed me I am a queen and I will be a queen.  I deserve to be treated as royalty because I am a daughter of the King.  I am HIS ambassador.  I am worthy of honor and respect and I do have the authority to say, "ENOUGH!"  It's a good thing.  It's a powerful thing.  Lives depend on me doing this 'thing'. 

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